Yesterday was the dreaded day of the week. Weigh in day. I was not feeling very optimistic considering I tried the first week and saw nothing. So I did it, I jumped on my slot machine from hell and could not believe it. Three and half pounds. Yeahhhh, I was only a half a pound behind now. I knew if I could just focus and put some direction in to what I was doing. I would be successful. I spent the rest of the day ecstatic. Thinking now don't blow it and celebrate with something like ice cream. All day long I was on cloud nine three pounds!! If I keep it up I could possible hit my goal with out my handicap!
I plastered my success all over my fridge as a reminder, then...it happened. That creep monster that lives in my head telling me.." three pounds, big deal" I started thinking was it just the scale again. Or was it just water, what happens tomorrow if the three pounds is back like some freaking clip out of the movie Ground Hog Day. Will I ever escape the yo-yo?
So I cleared my head and decided to watch a little mindless TV. Of course what was on, Biggest Looser, which I used to find inspiring, but now I find terrible depressing that these people drop 10-15 pounds a week. (I know they are working out and have trainers) But still i would kill for 15 pounds in a week.
So I changed the channel, next up Ffifteen and Heavy...great another show about obesity. Change the channel again..special on the Carpenter's (eating disorder). Change the channel again, Intervention...another eating disorder special. Continue surfing, maybe a movie, What's eating Gilbert Grape? Really! Come on, I think GOD secretly looks down and laughs at me.
One last surf....American Dad. Great now some mindless TV then I can go back to feeling good about my small but certain success. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME...it is the episode when the son make friends with the freakishly large 500lb neighbor with an eating disorder!!!
"Click"- no TV for me..perhaps it was a sign. To my room for crunches!