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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

It is about time.

Nine weeks in and I have to say I feel pretty good about my track record.  Although I wanted to be a little further along in my loss, I believe this journey has given me a new lease on life.  In the past I have managed to stick to a program a few weeks, or even a month.  So the fact that I passed the two month mark is really exciting for me.  I have to say my new goal of running five miles is a lot harder of a challenge than I thought it would be.  Not just because of the physical part, but time and dedication has been a big struggle.  Like this morning; I totally got up an hour half early so that I could run, but I laid in bed thinking of how hard it was and how it would make me late for work.  When I should have just got my fat ass out of bed and did it.  So now I will be stuck balancing out Mommy duties and then trying to find time to dedicate to myself.  Which pretty much means my night is shot and I will have to try again tomorrow. 

But I did get up and give myself enough time to weigh-in and complete my tape test.  Which I know you are all on the ends of your chairs just waiting to see how I did.  But before I get into that let me just say this week has been crazy and thrilling at the same time.  Although I have not been forced to buy new clothes, I have noticed that buttons are no longer screaming for help, that pockets are not protruding out the side of my clothes, and you can no longer read the dates on my coins in pockets. 

I was also very excited to hear from some of my friends that have been reading this telling me how I have inspired them.  One is journaling her weight loss on FB.  Another started her own work out routine.  Even my boss is thinking of doing something.  Heck just to know that people are thinking because I took the time to jot down some funny thoughts I had about myself, makes me want to work out harder. (except for this morning) 

Just the other day, my husband wanted to go out for dinner cuz he won these gift certificates, to a really good restaurant.  Which I totally love, cuz everything there is served super sized, and loaded with REAL BUTTER and SALT.  They don't even have a salad that isn't loaded with 1000 "dollaries".  Anyway I found myself choosing not to eat there because I did not want to jeopardize my success for one meal.  This is coming from the person who on Nutrisystem would have murdered people for a chance to eat real cheese or a steak.    So I have to say THANK YOU!   Thank you to all of you for listening to me and taking this journey with me. 

So are you ready....At 9 weeks in with the addition of my loss this week I have lost a total of 15lbs.  I also have lost in the last month alone a total of SIX AND QUARTER INCHES.   (Totalling seven.... no judgement please)  6 1/4 inches in one month!!!  Freaking fantastic I tell you, I an not ready to walk the Run Way, but I am sure feeling good about myself these days and can't wait to see more results.

This weeks  goal:  work in some abs..I would like to see them some time soon.

Monday, April 25, 2011


Well, I am desperately trying to get caught back up. Because before you know it Tuesday will be here and I will have to weigh-in and complete the once dreaded tape test again.  Which I am thinking might be a good week.

This past week was rather depressing, stuck in the house with sicko, and not loosing weight put me in a crap of a mood.  So crappy that I spent much of my free time watching Lifetime.  Yes a admit it. I secretly love Lifetime...although if anyone from Lifetime reads this, could you please put some movies on that empower women who didn't go through a personal tragedy, like being raped or abused by a spouse.  Seriously, come on there are plenty of talented, smart women that make it that don't have to be bitch slapped a few times to realize it. 

Back to my story, I watched some movie on there about this divorce' who's husband left her for some young hot thing.  The main character was played by the lady who played Sara Connor on the terminator  (I really suck at names). Anyway she meets this woman who teaches women how to be sexy.  She is French, so she talked with a lot of z's. She says in the movie, "Zexy comez from ze inzide. You must dress zexy underneath to feel confident.  Zis is way french women steal youz American's men."   

So it got me to thinking, yes I dress nice but lets be honest this body has not seen lingerie in a while.  So I decided to go out an by some zexy underwear, and boost my weight lose with new zex appeal.  Well let me go back just a little, in my former house I did not have a full length mirror. Because really who needs one when all you have to do is look down.  But in my new house a have my very own dressing room which I have placed a full length mirror in.  LET ME JUST SAY EVERYONE NEEDS A FULL LENGTH MIRROR!  Also it is very much like being in the 360 mirror room on what not to wear.  So back to my story... I purchased some nice items, in my correct size and proceeded to wear them with a great sense of pride.  Well the French lady was right, you do feel better about yourself when you indulge in a little sexy pleasure.

So the other day I was getting ready to go out when I changed in my changing room and I happen to look behind me at my full length mirror, and I thought...HOLY CRAP WHAT THE HELL!!!  The French lady was not so right, cuz at this size my ass in a thong looks like a Sumo wrestler!  Not to mention my Asian skin tone does not help.  I kept staring as if it was a train wreck that I could not look away.  As I spun around and looked at myself, I realized all I was missing was a hand towel hanging on the front of me and a pony tail on the top of my head.  This was not "Zexy"

NEW RULE :  If you weigh more than 130lbs..Stick to boy shorts!

Thursday, April 21, 2011


So today is Thursday and I usually post on Tuesdays after my date with the slot machine from hell, but this week has been crazy.  It started off fine, until my son got sick and I could no longer dedicate any time to myself, my motherly duties came first.  Which sucked!  Don't get me wrong, being a mom is probably the best thing in the world, and it is the one thing I would not trade for anything until this week. 

It started with my eval at "Chicken Flats".  I love my job, not to mention am crazy good at it, and I was a nervous wreck about the whole thing.  Because in today's economy you can't take for granted that your job is there, you have to prove it over and over.  Unless you are a Demi and are in a union and managed to get your tenure, but that is whole other bitch.  Back to what I was saying, the company changed their year evals a few year ago and have been changing them every year since, for retention purposes. (so they say)  personally I think they just want to find a way to slide in comments and remarks that seem positive at the time but can be taken out of context in the future to fire your ass. So really you are interview for you job and proving why you deserve to continue to receive a paycheck. 

So I decided NOT ME..I am indispensable, and I was gonna prove it.  But with that came long hours, and asking my family to sacrifice more.  Which they have so willingly done for me to be a success.  Well right before my "inter-eval"  I get a call that my son is ill..Now comes the problem, balancing job and motherhood.  I quickly use my superpowers and arrange for transportation, get my husband off work, and enter the "inter-eval" calm as a cucumber. 

When I arrive home, I am greeted by a son that is puking all over everything, and is reminding me ..."Why weren't you here?"  Once again..balance.  So I quickly transformed into supermom, making homemade noodle soup, rice paste, googling the Internet for recipes, and make home made peppermint tea to calm him down.  I proceed to spend the next three days, by his side, only sliding in work when he was not looking or sleeping, considering I had deadlines that I had just promised to meet in my freaking "inter-eval". 

BALANCE. (breathe)

On the fourth day I had realized that I totally forgot to run, eat, sleep, and visit my dear friend the slot machine from hell.  So I made it point to do so, when I could have screamed!!!  NO sleep, Covered in vomit, and shit, Don't recall eating, and I lost a measly freaking pound..

BALANCE  ( breathe..breathe) 

So there you have it, I am at my 8 week mark, and I am 4 pounds shy of my goal.  Not sure how it happened, but I am pretty sure Balance had a lot to do with it!!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

I was optimistic, then reality....

Well, I have been working like crazy on my new goal, of attempting to five miles a day.  I have stepped back down to two miles a day and am hoping to push another half mile each week.  Although today I attempted to push another half mile and I thought my legs were going to fall off.  So maybe every two weeks, I am pretty sure that will still work out mathematically by new years? 

So far in seve days have ran sixteen miles.  Not bad, I am rather impressed that I have accomplished that much considering my previous running experiences consisted of running to the front of the lunch line, running to the fridge to get beer before the time out was over, or getting snack quickly enough to bet the commercial break during Grey's Anatomy. 

Needless to say I was feeling very optimistic this morning when I was running; Son.  It is amazing how kids see things so simple, not because they are kids, but because my son is a smart ass just like me.  I have been running in my basement, and it is very cool down there and most importantly secluded.  I was running at a great pace and feeling good with myself when my child comes down to enjoy some company.  Now mind you I am running in appropriate attire, if I was smoking hot, but I is just me what the Hell.  So I today am running in my gray yoga pants that fit so nicely, meaning that they really don't push any bulges around to make me look bumpy, and a light pink sports bra.  The cutest pair of gray and pink rocket running shoes.  My hair is neatly pulled back with a pink ribbon and even though I am not a size 7 I am still quite beautiful. 

Well my son flips on the TV and talks about something, I really wasn't listening. When he said, "Mom..I asked you a question."  I very politely replied, " WHAT, I am running here."   yes is was way nicer then that, but come on people..moms never get to stop being moms and it does totally get annoying sometimes!!

" I said, how much weight have you lost?"  he shouted.
"11 pounds"  I replied in between breathes. 
" How much are you trying to loose?"  he asked with a puzzled look on his face.
" 61 pounds, why?"

He sat very quiet and looked me up and down.  I could tell he was think how to say what every it was and not get into trouble.  It is the same look my husband gives me, when he wants to buy something and he knows I am going to say no, so he must word it just right. 

"Well, that is a lot, you better keep running cuz 11poounds doesn't look any different on you"  then he went back to playing.

I stared at him thinking.."shit head" So now I am terribly nervous about Tuesday's weigh am I gonna stay positive?  When my freaking seven year old just punched me in the gut...

Any ideas out there?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Props Where Props Are Due

So even though my new slot machine from Hell is my favorite it is still a pain in my ass.  Cuz even with the extra exercise and my new found excitement for running, I only lost a 1/2 pound this week.  Although I have to say I am thinking the large amount of alcohol consumed due to the possibility of the government shutting down, and  combination of seeing red on my taxes had a little bit to do with the lack of loss.  See I was so worried that I could not think of anything else but gloom.  Then on Sunday when the coast was clear, I consumed a wonderful bottle of Pinto Grigo, my absolute fave in case anyone wanted to send a present.  But needless to say, it lead to me being dehydrated and forced me to consume gallon after gallon of water.    So I am very hopeful that next week's weigh-in will be more respectful.  I just had a vision of Gillian from the Biggest Looser rolling her eyes, and everyone looking at me in the elimination room...(I think I need to stop watching that show)

But anyway the whole entire reason I decided to write this weeks blog was to give some props out to those around me that have e-mail, called, and text me their stories.  I found them so inspiring, and I have to give a shout out to a good friend of mine Nancy.  No people I am not that vain, not me, I really have a friend with the same name.  Anyway, Nancy and I have been fighting this battle of the bulge forever, and her husband Scott suffers from the same simplistic mind as my husband.  Once again people I am not making this shit up! And if you didn't catch that my hubby's name...Scott.  Stay focused...she dropped me a line the other day and informed me she has lost an OUTSTANDING 23lbs.  She did not sound as excited as I did, so I decided to post her success today instead of mine.   23lbs...that is a measly 2lbs away from a 1/4 of hundred...that is amazing!!  I am so proud of her, and secretly jealous  I could SPIT!  So Nancy here is to you and your amazing 1/4 of hundred pounds!!  I will see you at New Year's  when we both are at our goal!!!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Balls To the Wall

So here I was totally excited that I have reached 10lbs and realizing I can do it, when our company had a meeting that had a motivational speaker that was by all mean passionate of what he had accomplished in his life.  A gold medal in the Olympics. But what I found fascinating is that someone would train so hard to reach a very limited goal.  How do you have that kind of dedication, passion to want something so bad.

When I discussed this with my very candid husband, he simply explained it, "you just do it"  this coming from the man that clearly suffers from OCD and when he sets his mind it is done.  So I started thinking is it really that simply, just set your mind?  Is it really mind over matter.  I then decided with the ever so slight encouragement from my husband that I should start running. So I have set a goal for myself to be able to run 5 miles a day by the end of the year.

So with all that excitement I decided today would be that day I try, how long would it take me to run five miles?  If I just set my mind to it.  It could only take about 2 hours tops, even if I walked it right?  Then I could just work hard and improve my time.  So when I explained my plan to my dear spouse.  He said " You fucking crazy, you have to build up to it."  He told me that I should start at two miles, and move up a half mile each week.  Side note: I really think that he should be a personal trainer, cuz I think that there are  hundreds of girls that would love to him stand by them and slap them on the ass like a football player and tell them to push it!  (But don't tell him I said that cuz he already suffers from over-confidence and I don't think I have enough butter to rub on his big head to get it through the door any more.)  But me, I totally don't listen to him.

So jump on the treadmill, I set my favorite tunes up, got my water, begin to walk, then jog, and then run at a nice pace.  I felt very comfortable on the treadmill, like I had been running my whole life.  I decide I would run to the five mile mark even if I fell over dead, which could be possible considering the years of smoking and drinking that have aged my body.  So, I ran and I ran.  I began to feel leg pains and cramps, but I kept running, I took a few sips of water, and kept moving.  I thought I did this in the Army, just keep going "mind over matter".  Then it believe I found the truth, the light, an epiphany;  you can have mind over matter just not over body. Because right when I had finished mile three, dying of thirst I took a quick sip and then it happened, I threw up in my cup and then again and again.  Turns out my body really didn't believe my mind.

So once again my old man was right, and my new mantra for training.."slow and steady boys slow and steady!"

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


So here we are again and I begin my weigh in ritual.  First off let me say a bought my third "slot machine from Hell" this week and it will be my first time stepping on it.  I made my old man use it a few times first.  Why you ask?  Because it is super slim and made of glass and I keep having this recurring horrible nightmare of me stepping on it and it shattering into a million pieces right into my feet!  Which then causes me to be on bed rest and I balloon up like the mom in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape"  Then I die and my son has to suffer the embarrassment of my dead fat carcus being pulled from the house with a crane.  (I really am starting to think therapy might be a good option.)

Anyway I start my ritual which consists of a hot shower, which I am sure has proved to have steamed off at least a 1/2 pound prior to my weigh-ins.  So I am in my bathroom and the door is slightly cracked, and I proceed to get undressed for my shower.  When I look through the door and see that my dog is staring at me.  He quickly lifts his paws and covers his eyes.  (I am not making this shit up people)  So I jump in the shower and as I am standing there letting the pounds melt; I begin to wonder; did he cover his eyes because he felt embarrassed to see me.  Like...OOOPS.  Or did he cover his eyes because they were thriving in pain form the sight of my naked body.  (Once again  I am thinking I need a therapist).

So I dry off after I feel that the skin had melted off my body from the scourcthing water and proceed with my weigh-in.  Back on the "slot machine" praying it does not break.  PLEASE I HOPE THIS IS TEMPERED GLASS!!  Well what do you know this slot machine is my freaking favorite of them all!!!  I lost 3.5 pounds this week.  That is a grand total of  10.5 in 6 weeks!!  Okay a little off my goal but still within reach, and with that people I now realize I can do it.  61lbs this year here I come!!!