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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

LOST AND FOUND

Well here we are 19 weeks in and I have successfully lost 23lbs.  Not bad right?  IT FREAKING SUCKS!!!  Although somewhere in my brain I feel like I have lost 50lbs pounds the reality is I am lost.  The Nazi has been so kind to remind me that the reason i am lost is because I haven't done anything. 

Let the record show I have just not as much as I have in the past few weeks.  "Chicken Flats" has been driving me crazy and I have a very big million dollar project that will be wrapping up in a few weeks. So life has been quite hectic.  Not to mention we had a lot going on here in the home front.  We bought a pool, nothing fancy just one of those ones from Wal-mart..to hold us over til we decided on what we want to do, but that was a fiasco in of it self.  It dawned on me that though my neighbors are nice, they really are not.  They really despise that we have built here and will use every tactic possible to make my life miserable. 

Well in case you are reading y dear neighbors...I don't care what you think!!  This is my house, and I will do as I please, if you don't like it close your fucking curtains, and look the other way.  Also if you didn't want me here you should have bought it your self!. 

Okay enough on that, so we had home issues, and life issue, and work issue..and as the Nazi so clearly says.  "You just have to make time".  I swear to GOD if I hear that statement one more freaking time I am gonna punch him right in the face.  I hate juggling, and though I think there are times that I waste where I could be productive..FB  but it is something I enjoy.  Why should I constantly sacrifice everything?  Why is it that we as women have to chose between being competitive at work and successful, to take care of our families, and being a good wife?  When do we have time to take care of ourselves?  I look at my husbands day.  Work all night, come home sleep 5 hours. up with the kid.  Sweeps, mops, laundry.  Then I come home.  I finish work, I make dinner, I clean up, I get ready for the next day and I go to sleep.  While I do those things, he gets ready for work, and goes to the gym.  I mean don't get me wrong we both have responsibilities and I think we do a good job of juggling them together, but time for myself...well that is one I struggle with.  What do I give up?  Time with family, sacrifice my performance at work, sacrifice my time with my spouse (which might not be a bad thing)...what gives?