Well, I am behind 2lbs already, and I can feel my failure starting. So I have decided i need to find a work out routine. I figure I should start small and work things in to my everyday so that I don't discourage myself. Step one waking up 20 minutes earlier and doing some basic exercises. Some push ups, crunches, and a little cardio jumping jacks.
Day One: 6 am...snooze....6:10 am...snooze....6:20 am....snooze...6:30 am....."Stupid freaking clock! Starting day one tomorrow"
Day Two (redo of Day One): 6am....snooze...6:10am .... "I'm up" Turned alarm off. Beep! Beep! "Shit 7:30am....Crap now I am freaking late...tomorrow starting day one...I promise"
Day Three ( redo of redo Day One): 6am..."who the hell am I kidding!!!!" need to find a better time..this is not working!"
Tomorrow is day four and a Saturday...so no excuses, but I did realize that perhaps my lack of motivation is clearly a true problem. Maybe I need some kind of supplement to help with the energy. I then decide to visit our local GNC and take a quick peek and see this there is something there that can help.
May I just say; Is it a hiring requirement that you must be blond and a size 4 to work there. Anyway as I enter the store and glance a around, a wonderful beautiful size four blond comes over to help. I try not to judge...but come one people. Food is not completely bad for you!!
"May I help you?" she asks in her utterly chipper voice that reminds me vaguely of a chatty Kathy doll.
"Yes I am looking for something that will give me some energy and perhaps help me shed a few pounds, but I don't want a shake, or a bar." ( shed a few pounds...as if she believes that, lord knows I don't)
"You should try this stuff, it is a thermogenic and one of our best sellers" She talks like a recording, I begin to wonder if that statement is true or perhaps beaten into them during their on the job training?
I begin to read the back and I think what's the harm, I am 2lbs behind schedule, going on 4...tired all the time, what do I have to loose but 40 bucks...which I can sadly drink or eat in one meal. I walk to the check out and take my wallet out when Princess Skipper scans the bottle and says, " With diet and exercise this should work great" Once again I wonder do they beat that into them...maybe the starve them into submission so that say that stuff, and when I leave Skipper can go have a doughnut in the back room.
I look at her, and politely say, "Well diet and exercise is what is put me in this position. Would you happen to have anything for sale in the store that you do not have to say that disclaimer?"
She smiles, with her recently zoomed teeth and says, "We sell water bottles"
"Just cash me out please." I wonder if the water bottles would double as an enema when I shove it up her ass?