Total Pageviews

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


So here we are again and I begin my weigh in ritual.  First off let me say a bought my third "slot machine from Hell" this week and it will be my first time stepping on it.  I made my old man use it a few times first.  Why you ask?  Because it is super slim and made of glass and I keep having this recurring horrible nightmare of me stepping on it and it shattering into a million pieces right into my feet!  Which then causes me to be on bed rest and I balloon up like the mom in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape"  Then I die and my son has to suffer the embarrassment of my dead fat carcus being pulled from the house with a crane.  (I really am starting to think therapy might be a good option.)

Anyway I start my ritual which consists of a hot shower, which I am sure has proved to have steamed off at least a 1/2 pound prior to my weigh-ins.  So I am in my bathroom and the door is slightly cracked, and I proceed to get undressed for my shower.  When I look through the door and see that my dog is staring at me.  He quickly lifts his paws and covers his eyes.  (I am not making this shit up people)  So I jump in the shower and as I am standing there letting the pounds melt; I begin to wonder; did he cover his eyes because he felt embarrassed to see me.  Like...OOOPS.  Or did he cover his eyes because they were thriving in pain form the sight of my naked body.  (Once again  I am thinking I need a therapist).

So I dry off after I feel that the skin had melted off my body from the scourcthing water and proceed with my weigh-in.  Back on the "slot machine" praying it does not break.  PLEASE I HOPE THIS IS TEMPERED GLASS!!  Well what do you know this slot machine is my freaking favorite of them all!!!  I lost 3.5 pounds this week.  That is a grand total of  10.5 in 6 weeks!!  Okay a little off my goal but still within reach, and with that people I now realize I can do it.  61lbs this year here I come!!!

1 comment: