Sumo

Well, I am desperately trying to get caught back up. Because before you know it Tuesday will be here and I will have to weigh-in and complete the once dreaded tape test again.  Which I am thinking might be a good week.

This past week was rather depressing, stuck in the house with sicko, and not loosing weight put me in a crap of a mood.  So crappy that I spent much of my free time watching Lifetime.  Yes a admit it. I secretly love Lifetime...although if anyone from Lifetime reads this, could you please put some movies on that empower women who didn't go through a personal tragedy, like being raped or abused by a spouse.  Seriously, come on there are plenty of talented, smart women that make it that don't have to be bitch slapped a few times to realize it. 

Back to my story, I watched some movie on there about this divorce' who's husband left her for some young hot thing.  The main character was played by the lady who played Sara Connor on the terminator  (I really suck at names). Anyway she meets this woman who teaches women how to be sexy.  She is French, so she talked with a lot of z's. She says in the movie, "Zexy comez from ze inzide. You must dress zexy underneath to feel confident.  Zis is way french women steal youz American's men."   

So it got me to thinking, yes I dress nice but lets be honest this body has not seen lingerie in a while.  So I decided to go out an by some zexy underwear, and boost my weight lose with new zex appeal.  Well let me go back just a little, in my former house I did not have a full length mirror. Because really who needs one when all you have to do is look down.  But in my new house a have my very own dressing room which I have placed a full length mirror in.  LET ME JUST SAY EVERYONE NEEDS A FULL LENGTH MIRROR!  Also it is very much like being in the 360 mirror room on what not to wear.  So back to my story... I purchased some nice items, in my correct size and proceeded to wear them with a great sense of pride.  Well the French lady was right, you do feel better about yourself when you indulge in a little sexy pleasure.

So the other day I was getting ready to go out when I changed in my changing room and I happen to look behind me at my full length mirror, and I thought...HOLY CRAP WHAT THE HELL!!!  The French lady was not so right, cuz at this size my ass in a thong looks like a Sumo wrestler!  Not to mention my Asian skin tone does not help.  I kept staring as if it was a train wreck that I could not look away.  As I spun around and looked at myself, I realized all I was missing was a hand towel hanging on the front of me and a pony tail on the top of my head.  This was not "Zexy"

NEW RULE :  If you weigh more than 130lbs..Stick to boy shorts!