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Monday, July 16, 2012

What was that?
It was raining as I walked out the door, without looking back.  I could feel the warmth of the tears stream down my face as the cool summer rain stung my cheeks from the storm.  As I sat in car I could feel his pulse as he held my hand.  It was rapid and hard, in conjunction with mine.  It was like he was an extension of me.  I could feel my heart beat faster as the tears continued to stream down my face.
“BUZZ BUZZZ BUZZzzzzz” the alarm went off suddenly!  That was the same dream I have had every night in the last three nights.  I can’t make out where I am going, who I am with or why I have an uncontrollable urge to cry when I first open my eyes?  Could I be going crazy again?  Is my subconscious telling me something?  Hell I can’t even figure out if it is from the past or in a distance future or even if we are on Mars; who ever "we" are. 
I have been up and down lately, can’t seem to figure out where I am going and why I can’t I get there faster.  I am on week two of my rerun, and I am really hoping it works this time.  I know I should just stop hoping and just do it, but I can’t help to feel like I am leaving something out.  You know forgetting something.  I hate the feeling.  It does make me crazy.  Oh well, guess if I linger on it, it would only create a new illusion for me, so I will keep pressing forward.  Perhaps my dream will too and I can figure out what I am forgetting.  In the meantime I am thinking a good four miles should clear my head, so here we go.  

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